35 Ways to Annoy Random MR Characters 2
by not magical me
Summary: Sequel to 35 Ways to Annoy Random MR Characters. Includes Sam, Lissa, Random Erasors, and many more.
1. SAM

**35 Ways to Annoy Random MR Characters 2**

Tell him Max ditched him 'cause he's got facial hair.

Tell him he's a dweeb.

Say he's pretty.

Tell him Fang would have busted his behind all the way to Kentucky anyways.

Ask him if he's an eraser.

If he doesn't know what the heck you're talking about, laugh.

Laugh some more.

A bit more.

Then tell him he's pink enough to be an eraser.

Watch him go red.

Tell him he looks like a tomato.

Tell him he should try out for girl scouts.

Ask him if you can buy some tagalongs (those are THE BEST, I don't care what Mom says about thin mints).

Go buy him a girl scout uniform.

Show it to his older sisters.

Put it in his closet.

Listen to his horrified screams in the morning and laugh manically.

Ask him how many badges he's going to get.

Tell him that he needs bling-bling for the sash.

Tell him you'll get them all for him if he goes to school in the uniform.

See steps 17 and 7-8.

Steal all his clothes minus the uniform.

When he's forced to come out of wherever he's hiding, in the uniform, take pictures.

DO NOT allow him to destroy the film.

Develop the pictures and send them to Max.

Tell her "oh, how the mighty have fallen."

Give more pictures to Sam's sisters.

Give some more to aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Give pictures to everyone else he know, even if it's just some random guy at a supermarket that he sees in line sometimes.

Tell him you developed the film with his money.

RUN!

Tell him he looks like a crab apple.

Go and buy him a pair of pink, feathery earings.

Ask him if he likes them.

Tell him I got like a zillion people wanting me to annoy him.


	2. LISSA

**Lissa**

1. Tell her that her crush's name is really Fang, and that no, really, he picked it out for himself.

2. Tell her Fang is goth. BONUS! This may also annoy Fang.

3. Tell her she's a duck.

4. Insist that no, she really is a duck.

5. Make her say she's a duck.

6. Then argue with her that "No, she's not a duck, of course she's not a duck. There is no WAY she's a duck."

7. Say, "You're clearly a monkey."

8. If she argues, say, "Alright, maybe an orangutan."

9. Tell her to look up "flying pink orangutan" on YouTube.

10. If she says "There is nothing on flying pink orangutans." look at her funny.

11. Say, "Of course not, who in their right mind would make a video about a flying pink orangutan?"

12. Shake your head and say, "That would just be stupid."

13. Call her an idiot.

14. Ask her "Why?"

15. If she asks, "why what?" Say, "Don't play innocent with me."

16. Tell her, "I know what you did."

17. Insist that you know what she did.

18. Tell her, "if I don't see $50 under the old oak tree in the park by sundown tommorow, you'll never see your precious teddy bear again." BONUS! This way, you also get fifty bucks.

19. Tell her she's in grave danger.

20. Ask her if she's wearing abercrombie. Look at her funny if she says yes.

21.Ask her if she would jump off a cliff if abercrombie said itwas cool.

22. Smack her on the back of the head.

23. If she asks "what was that for?" say, "I dunno. I felt like it."

24. Ask her if she heard what happened.

25. Refuse to tell her what happened.

26. Say she would blab all over school.

27. Tell her it's too important to say.

28. Tell her if you told her, you'd have to kill her.

29. Look around as if for eavesdroppers.

30. Tell Sam the hobbit to "Go away, and get a better grip on those stupid eaves."

31. Lean in like you are about to tell her a state secret.

32. Tell her "This could change her life forever."

33.Tell her again, "I'd have to kill you if I told you."

34. Say "A little squirrel became roadkill yesterday, now say your prayers!"

35. Kill her.


	3. KEVIN THE ERASER

Kevin the Random Eraser!

Tell him he's a mutt.

Tell him he looks more like a chihuahua than a wolf when he's all erasery.

Be sure to stress "erasery".

Call him Fido.

Say "Here boy! Come here Spot!"

Tell him that if he's bad you'll get someone to give him a bath.

Say "Bad Eraser!" in the patented Voice of Authority.

Tell him he doesn't look like a vicious predator to YOU.

Cock your head to the side and say thoughtfully that he looks more like a duck.

Say that there seems to be a definite family resemblence between him and your yellow rubber ducky.

Run and borrow a yellow rubber duck from Ari.

Tell him that the duck's name is also Kevin.

Say that they must be long lost cousins.

Wait until night, and then when he goes to bed, say "YOU! OFF THE FURNITURE! NOW!"

Give him a bone if he gets off.

Ask him if he does drugs or if he's high on milkbonesTM.

Ask him if he's related to Sirius Black.

Say that he looks like Sirius Black. (Kevin just so happens to be blond and blue eyed...)

Look at him and say "Arf."

Say that Erasers ought to have a cooler name.

When he asks why, shrug.

Then say that "eraser" just sounds... dumb.

Add that it could almost be cliche.

Suggest that Oscar Mayer Weiners would be a cooler name.

Make sure he hears you say it would also be more accurate.

Ask him if he can swim or just doggie paddle.

Tell him cats are better than dogs. (Yeah right, dogs RULE!)

Tell him they're a lot more eviler. (This is true.)

Tell him cats are scarier than dogs. (oh, yeah... a growling doberman pinscher's got NOTHING on a cat with its claws out...)

Tell him that in some places, dogs are considered a delicacy.

Be vague about exactly WHERE. (Because I don't know where...)

Ask him why he was growling.

Inform him that yes, he was growling.

Ask if he always drools before a meal.


	4. THE DIRECTOR

The Director

The Director

Call her "Annie".

Then say, "Oops, what I meant to say was Mary." (In book 3, Jeb says her name is Marian Janssen)

Then venture on with "Although you look more like a Marnie, you know, like that one girl from Halloween town?"

Tell her exactly what you think of her maternal instincts.

Ask her if she thinks she's Omega's mother as well.

Ask her if she realized that JEB is Max's father, because if she was her MOTHER, well…

Squeal "EWWWW!!"

Ask if she has a crush on Jeb.

Tell her it's all right to tell you, her secret's safe with you.

While reassuring her of this, whip out your cell phone and put your thumb in dialing position.

Make sure to get all possible exclamation points in that screech.

Hold onto it until you run out of breath.

Ask her if she's really part turtle.

Ask her if that's why she walks so slow.

Ask how old she is.

Ask if she needs you to go get her groceries.

Offer to help her cross the street.

Ask if she wants to have a "girl talk" about a certain somebody.

If you can, wiggle your eyebrows.

If you can't, just twitch your eyebrow and hope she gets the message.

Grin insanely at her.

Call her a nut job.

Tell her she's a deranged, ruthless, power-crazy psychopath.

Tell her she's got one screwed up way of looking at the world.

Ask her if she lynches little children.

Appear to think about it for a second.

Say that paying someone to do it for her counts.

Appear to think again.

Then tell her never mind, that you don't really want to know.

Tell her that when most mothers want to snoop around in their daughters' lives, they listen in on their phone calls.

Add that they don't put CHIPS in their children's arms.

Also say that they don't usually try to sell them as weapons to a foreign government.

Ask her if she's related to Dr. Frankenstein.

Wonder aloud if she's naturally blond.

Tell her that it looks like someone did a bad dye job on it.

**BONUS!!**

Tell her that washing her hair every now and then wouldn't kill it.

Tell her that at the moment, it looks like a dust mop.

Ask sympathetically if she's been spending too many nights in the old lab.

NEXT UP: Omega


	5. OMEGA

Omega

Call him a her.

Ask him if he's gay or a criminal (no way is he taken)

Ask him if he's really got a twelve pack.

Say that your granny's got a twelve pack.

Tell him that is not a twelve pack.

Tell him if he had a twelve pack this wouldn't happen.

Jab him in the stomach.

If you break your fingers, bend over in pain. NOTE: Not Magical Me is in no way responsible for pain, revenge insane experiments, or bodily harm, or death should you actually do any of this, on the basis that, well, even if I put this junk up on the Web, YOU read it and decided to actually go through with it.

Ask him if he's a crazy ax murderer.

Make fun of him cause he got beat up by a GIRL. NOTE: I have nothing against girls. I am a girl. Girls are nice. Girls are cool. Cool girls do not pay people to beat up other girls in a dark alley someplace.

Ask him how perfect he is now, huh, buddy?

Stress the "huh, buddy?"

Ask him how his nose got broken.

Ask him what the square root of 1 million, 7 hundred, 59 is.

Laugh at him when he tries to figure it out.

Ask him what 10 divided by three is.

Then ask what 3.33333 etc. is.

If he says 9.999999 etc., ask what times 3 is ten, then?

If he says 10, say, "No, stupid, it's 9.999999 etc."

If he says 100, ask him if he's got a fever.

Ask him where the lost city of Atlantis is.

Tell him your ancestors came from Atlantis.

Say, "No, really."

Try to make him laugh. This in itself will irritate him.

Succeed in making him laugh. This will really, really, annoy him.

Ask him if he knows who James Patterson is.

Tell him James Patterson knows who HE is.

Tell him James Patterson controls his every move.

Tell him James Patterson decides whether or not he blinks.

Tell him no, Jamie is NOT God.

Tell him rather casually that yes, you are on first name terms with him.

If you aren't on first name terms with him, lie for all you're worth.

Ask him if he reads fanfiction.

Direct him to this page.

Laugh at the expression on his face when he reads #35.

BONUS!!

Tell him that his name sounds like OMG!


	6. MR PRUITT

Mr

**Mr. Pruitt**

Ask him if he'll baby sit for your baby brother/sister.

Ask him if heart problems run in the family.

Ask him if his skin is naturally purple.

Ask him if you ought to be worried.

Wonder aloud if you should maybe call somebody.

Throw a rock at him. On second thought, it doesn't have to be a rock; whatever you've got at hand will probably work.

When he accuses you, look innocent and say "Who, me?"

If you are incapable of innocence, fake or otherwise, just look insulted.

Tell him that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Ask him why he couldn't be more like Peter Piper?

Tell him that his mother always loved Peter the best.

Inform him loftily that "Petey darling" has his own, VERY successful pickle business, and that he managed to do it all without coming in contact with nasty kiddies.

Randomly insult him.

Follow him around.

Ask him what his problem is.

Stare at him. I'm serious, it is annoying and creepy when someone just sits there and stares at you.

Make funny faces behind his back.

Somehow make him listen to "Oops! I Did it Again" by everyone's favorite pop star.

Set off a stink bomb in one of the bathrooms, not exactly original, but sometimes the old ones are the good ones. Just make sure it isn't going to be in any bathroom that YOU'LL be using.

Ask him if he's psychotic.

Tell him that you think he looks an awful lot like a psycho to you.

Tell him loudly, in public if possible (meaning if he doesn't, by this point, lock you in a cell and push your meals in through a slot in the door.) that no, you won't make out with him, that's disgusting!

Tell everyone you know that he's a child molester.

Tell him that he shouldn't be allowed to run a school.

Scribble on his forehead.

Put a sticker on him, preferably a smiley face or a peace sign.

Draw flowers all over his files, or if you really want to be annoying, draw hearts. Or any combination thereof.

Proudly present him with his very own Happy Bunny t-shirt.

Try to convince him to get a tattoo.

Tell him that the other option is a piercing.

Ask him to play "house" with you.

When he agrees, get out your surgery stuff.

When he asks what the heck you're doing with that stuff, smile evilly.

Tell him you meant House, as in the TV show.

Start calling him Mr. Prune.


End file.
